The Value of Mediation

Abraham Lincoln once said:

"Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser—in fees, expense and waste of time.”
In my experience with both divorce and child custody litigation, I have found this statement to be true, with very few exceptions.  Most often, I find that both litigants are unhappy with the trial court's decision, and all this after spending thousands of dollars in legal fees!  This is because each party is so focused on who is right that they miss out on the many alternatives that could accommodate both parties wishes and desires. 

Case in point: I recently completed a contested custody trial in which both parties argued vigorously for their proposed custody arrangement.  In the end, the judge gave neither party what they wanted, and instead found a middle ground that is unlikely to avoid future conflicts.  I suspect that within a year or two, each will find themselves back in litigation.  In another recent case, I met with the parties prior to any formal court proceedings, and we agreed to come up with a solution that met most, if not all, the criteria of the parties.  Whenever we reached a point of impasse, in which neither party was willing to budge, we explored alternatives that neither had previously thought of, but which seemed to work.  In the end, both parties were pleased with the result and were optimistic about their future co-parenting.  And, unlike the first couple who chose to fight their differences out in court, the couple who chose to mediate have established a long-term forum in which future disputes can be resolved in a quick and cost-effective manner!

Principle always triumphs over passion!